April 9th, 2011 at 3:14PM
St. Peter Villa 5k, 2011.  Proof that I was born without shoulders.

St. Peter Villa 5k, 2011.  Proof that I was born without shoulders.

April 9th, 2011 at 3:11PM
Run for Hope Half Marathon, 2011.  Now I know what I’ll look like if I ever have a stroke.

Run for Hope Half Marathon, 2011.  Now I know what I’ll look like if I ever have a stroke.

April 9th, 2011 at 3:09PM
Mike Cody 4-miler, 2011.  Basically, I look dead.

Mike Cody 4-miler, 2011.  Basically, I look dead.

April 9th, 2011 at 3:03PM
Winter Cross Country Series 8k, 2009.  I refer to this pose as “The John McCain Monster.” (http://wonkette.com/403574/what-monster-did-mccain-become-last-night)

Winter Cross Country Series 8k, 2009.  I refer to this pose as “The John McCain Monster.”

(http://wonkette.com/403574/what-monster-did-mccain-become-last-night)

April 9th, 2011 at 3:01PM
Overton Park 5-miler, 2009.  This was the first time in a year I’d run 5 miles start to finish.  My feelings of victory were brutalized when I saw what 5 miles looked like on me.

Overton Park 5-miler, 2009.  This was the first time in a year I’d run 5 miles start to finish.  My feelings of victory were brutalized when I saw what 5 miles looked like on me.

April 9th, 2011 at 2:58PM
Women’s Run 5k, 2008.  For years (2007 - 2009), I used to focus on smiling every time I saw a photographer on a race course.  I should have been focusing on not looking like an idiot.

Women’s Run 5k, 2008.  For years (2007 - 2009), I used to focus on smiling every time I saw a photographer on a race course.  I should have been focusing on not looking like an idiot.

April 9th, 2011 at 2:56PM
St. Jude Half Marathon 2008.  Just…what the hell.

St. Jude Half Marathon 2008.  Just…what the hell.